He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
