You smell like stripper and shame
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
