I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
