I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
