Can i not drive my cunt home
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
