I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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