ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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