IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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