Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The Olympian is in my bed
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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