Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
