didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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