My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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