yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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