SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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