having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
