The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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