I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
