so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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