Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
wrigley field is MILF paradise
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
