I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
