I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
