this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
