first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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