I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
