a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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