you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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