i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize