Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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