I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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