Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize