i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
