The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
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Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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