As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize