Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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