you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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