What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
