Are we in a gay sports bar?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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