We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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