i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
