There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
