party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize