what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
