it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
