I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its about making memories worth repressing
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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