you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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