we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
