how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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