Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
