dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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