FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
