The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
