I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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