Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
