my phone needs a breathalizer
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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