He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
