At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
