i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
