I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
