I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
