i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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