everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
