I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize