That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Vodka?
Forever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
