I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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