i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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