I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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