idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
